It's kinda funny...
Thursday, April 8, 2010
...That one of my best friends is a 2 1/2 year old. It's kinda funny that this is my life... A 2 1/2 year old daughter and a 2 1/2 month old son... who I can't seem to make happy (the son, not the daughter... I think, or I hope!). I kind of think it's funny, or strange that things just become. What's that saying, by John Lennon? "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans". Yeah, this isn't what I expected my life to be like... although I do love it & find great humor in it's simplicity.
I remember the feeling I had when I was a little girl... And desperately wanted my mom to play with me & she couldn't. I couldn't understand why at the time she couldn't...Now I know the feeling all too well. You don't have time to always play when you have a house to maintain, a newborn to look after, a husband to feed, a floor to sweep, clothes to wash, toys to be picked up... don't even mention the idea of getting in the shower before the sun sets! But.. going back to that time; I remember saying "When I'm a Mom, I'm going to remember how to play with my children, I'm going to remember this imagination I have & play with my kids all the time". Although, I remember thinking this, I just can't remember that feeling, that spark, that wonderful... beautiful imagination of a child. Life clogs all that. Responsibility clogs all that. I'd do anything right now to feel that feeling again, to play the way a child can, to not have a care in the world... And yet an ability to open up that beautiful world Aubree sees.
Sometimes I have to stop what I'm doing & I listen to Aubree playing with her toys; the things she says are just fantastic! Every animal, every toy, every book, every block has a voice, a personality & a being... Aubree injects life into the leaves, rocks & sticks she finds, to the spoon she's eating with & the piece of down feather that just came out of the throw pillow... the bottle of bubbles she's been patiently waiting to play with outside, all day. Everything has a "Mommy" & a "Daddy"... She wants ME to make them all talk to her. The first thing she always asks these things are "Where's your Mommy & Daddy?". To be honest, it's all very exhausting and I don't always play with her, like I wish I could. When she goes to bed at night, my heart misses her sweet little soul & I think "God, what would I do without her?". I always say tomorrow is a new day, I'll play with her all day... but that is never the case! It's nearly impossible for me.
I know a day will come & it'll probably feel like a blink of an eye... but that day will come when she's 16 & maybe she won't even want to talk to me anymore... And here, at this moment, I have this precious little life who would want nothing more than for me to just sit with her for, maybe 10% of my day & just leap into her beautiful mind... her sweet little imagination. Just talk to her about life & anything else we could think of. It takes so little to make her happy, I just really hope I am contributing to her happiness. It is so tough to know if you're doing the right thing. Parenting isn't just difficult because of the work that comes with it, it's difficult, because as mothers & fathers we're constantly asking ourselves if we're doing it right. I think every parent wants to give their child a better life than what we, ourselves had. We just don't know HOW to do it. I guess we're all in this boat together!
Okay... Gotta go clean the house before round two gets started (the kids waking up from their naps) & I'm excited to see them!!
Some pictures of my super sweet, super kind & super amazing daughter:
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My goodness...your blog brings out so many emotions! I sat sobbing on the sofa reading the first entry about Aubree...thinking about my own sons. They are 16 before you know it, then adults! Enjoy every single moment with your children, as I know you do. You are an awesome mom, Dana. You & Garrick are awesome parents! You're a gorgeous family. I just love you all to pieces! :)
Aunt "Dunn Dunn"
Thank you Aunt Darlene! I feel like I get pretty emotional about Mommy-hood too! You're so lucky to have all your boys close to you... I hope I end up like that too! :)
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