I love that scriptural passage; Romans 8:28. It's good to be reminded of this, especially in need of comforting. I'm not in need of any comforting at the moment... In fact, I'm feeling abundantly blessed! Blessed with my beautiful, happy & healthy children. Blessed with a husband, whom I just adore with all of my heart & all of my soul.

However, in the last month or so... I have stumbled on what feels like heartbreaking blog, after heartbreaking blog - like literally being handed to me over & over again. I have read through posts from a young first-time mother, Kellie Staats who lost her 4 month old daughter Maddie (to what sounds like SIDS - Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, although they won't have the autopsy results for a few months) - she is so openly honest about her despair... You feel like literally jumping through the computer screen to hug her & help request her daughter's life back. You look at your own kids & pray to God that you don't ever lose them, especially not before you think their time should come. I can't imagine what it must feel like to bury your child. And then you are somewhat comforted by the love of our Heavenly Father, knowing that that sweet little child is in heaven, too innocent to go elsewhere. It is at that moment, that you must have some comfort that that child has found themselves eternal salvation.

I have also read another young mother's blog, Virginia Decker who after only being 5 months pregnant with her second child (her first daughter), her cervix thinned & had to have an immediate C-section - bringing a 1 lb 4 oz, 11 1/2 inch baby girl into this world, Leila. Leila was a fighter, but her fighting only lasted a devastatingly short 12 days. Her parents then had to bury their precious, too-tiny for words daughter. How is that possible? We think that when we're pregnant, our baby is safe & that all will go well... We take life for granted. We all do, none of us are promised tomorrow - yet we live our lives like us & our loved ones have all the time in the world. You have to wonder, what was God's reasoning for taking this angel home so soon?

Then there is this mother, Noel Giger who has quite a few children... but even more heartache! About 4 1/2 years ago, she lost her son, Ian to SIDS at 3 months old. I believe he was her third child, she went on to have another baby or two after Ian's death, most recently having a son, Aaron being born a couple months ago. Just as she was about to be released from the hospital & thinking she was going to get her healthy baby OK to leave the hospital.... The Doctor had to tell her the devastating news that her son would never have a normal life, that he had tested positive for Downs Syndrome. Now.... How is it that a mother, in one lifetime has to bury one child & also bury the dreams she had for another child? God must have made her strong enough to bear these beyond devastating life circumstances. God calls each of us to Sainthood & these people who have lost their children have a very obvious cross to bear. I don't know how I would react to such devastation.... but, it's my prayer that these mothers & fathers come closer to the Lord & eventually thank Him for ensuring their children a spot in heaven. It isn't in this life that we need to invest so much in... It's in the next & I hope these mothers find comfort in the knowledge that they will soon see their children again.... that their children will welcome them into heaven & that they will NEVER have to say goodbye to their children again.

Okay.... I know, too much sadness, right? I have one more blog I'd like to share... Like all of them, this one really brought me to tears. This one, I feel especially hits home & I'm not sure why. I have always felt very drawn to the special needs children & adults. My heart swells for those people & their families. I feel like people with special needs, were created to enter into the kingdom of God. Like Matthew Chapter 5 says
3) Blessed are the poor in spirit; for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
4) Blessed are the meek; for they shall possess the land
5) Blessed are they that mourn; for they shall be comforted
6) Blessed are they that hunger & thirst after justice; for they shall have their fill
7) Blessed are the merciful; for they shall obtain mercy
8) Blessed are the clean of heart; for they shall see God
9) Blessed are the peace-makers; for they shall be called the children of God
10) Blessed are they who suffer persecution for justice' sake; for theirs is the kingdom of heaven

I feel like these people who suffer, whether it be physically, or mentally... or both, are really, truly created for the kingdom of God. Okay.... So, if you visit this blog, like the rest, get your box of tissue out! This family, The Riggs just buried their 2-year old son, Karson... After suffering his whole, short life with SMA - Spinal Muscular Dystrophy. As you can see, he's an angel. His mother, Jody is such a gifted writer & writes so beautifully about her older daughter, Hadley's unconditional love for her little brother, Karson & how sad this sweet little girl is, over losing her only brother. This family has suffered so much, but still maintains their unconditional trust in the Lord. They had to bury their sweet little boy after so much heartache - how is a parent ever to let their child go?

You wonder... Lord, how are you able to take away these parents children too soon? These parents say, "you should never have to bury your child" & that feels so true - that feels so just.... but, we do have to remember that even our Heavenly Father, our Creator had to bury his one & only. The Virgin Mary had to bury her one & only son brought on to this earth to save the souls of this earth. God would never ask us to do something, that He, Himself wouldn't or hasn't done. Maybe I'm not in the right place to speak my mind about the loss of a child, as I have never had to bury one of my own & literally, the thought of it is... too much to deal with. Even the pain of THINKING about it is beyond my human strength. I don't know how these parents who have lost their children even wake up day after day. And they are all in my daily prayers. All families affected by the loss of a young family memeber. This life is so tragic & it's hard to constantly remember that we aren't promised tomorrow, we can't take for granted the lives of our loved ones. Life is precious... ALL life & I have nothing but empathy for all families affected by this type of tragedy.

I hope you all can keep these families in your prayers & also for all families' safekeeping of their children.
Thank you Lord for strength, happiness, joy & sorrow. Thank you for bringing others into our life to remind us to be grateful for what we have. I know I feel beyond grateful for my life & for all that God has given me.
Hope you're all well!
Dana

I usually use this blog to post pictures of the kids (they change so fast) and I usually don't prefer talking about myself so much, but today I'm feeling the need to do a little writing & reflect on this day. Today I'm 29 & it's funny, because 4 years ago today I would probably be freaking out knowing that I was going to be this old... knowing that I'm in my last year of the 20's. However, now that I am 29... I'm really proud of my age & all that has come with it. I have grown a lot. From 20 to 29, I am a different person, almost completely. I think the 20's bring the most growth, for me at least, it has. I now have a wonderful, loving, supportive, honest, loyal, sincere, protective husband who is a provider above all things. He makes sacrifices for me & our family and these are things that I couldn't be more grateful for. I also have a very deep relationship with God and I now have my priorities straight. Each day is a challenge to try to be a better person & it isn't always easy.
In my 20's I learned the tough lesson of "loss". To lose friends & family due to life circumstances, lose family & friends to death, grieve for loved ones, grieve the failure of unexpected losses, grieve the loss of not obtaining a goal, or realizing you made mistakes that you can't take back. Growth doesn't come without sorrow, sorrow doesn't come without joy. In your 20's you learn the circle of growth... the ups & the downs of life. You can't ever know the truest feelings of joy, if you haven't ever felt the worst of the sorrows. During my 20's I dealt with a lot of tough, dark, despairing moments. I am grateful for those moments now, because you realize what you're capable of overcoming. You realize that God made you strong enough to overcome these life circumstances. With the few years of sorrow I dealt with, I felt I had been handed the most precious gift of all... the light, after the darkness; Motherhood.

In my 20's I had the greatest privilege of all to be blessed as a Mother. Not just a mother of 1, but a mother of 2. Being entrusted with the gift of life, is by far the greatest blessing anyone can ever receive. Raising Aubree & Preston is my truest pride & joy. I don't know where I would be right now without my children. I became a mother at 25, my oldest will be FOUR this year... You don't ever realize how fast time flies by, until you have children. Sometimes I wish I could freeze time, especially now that Preston is ONE & just at the sweetest stage in his life. I love all the kids stages in life. Aubree at almost 3 1/2 is as sweet as can be, polite & extremely talkative... sometimes to the point of exhaustion! I get a little sad with the thought of her leaving this innocent stage - of course, I'm sure every parent wants to maintain their child's innocence, I know that's my goal.

In conclusion, I don't regret too much from my 20's - sure there are definitely things I would like to change, but you realize that you can't change anything that happened, but you can learn from your mistakes. That's what I'm going to take with me after this decade in my life comes to an ends, so for now I'm going to soak up the last 365 days of my 20's; because I know I'll never get this time back, I really believe in "living each day like it's your last", but for me I have a final goal after the end of this life... So, for me, living each day that I'm given is to strive to be a better person of faith each & every day. I'm glad I've gone through all my ups & downs... so that I can be the person that I am today.

Thanks for those have been with me on my journey - I value nothing more than the wonderful people that are brought into my life!

God Bless,
Dana